Suddenly Single

As a parent, that is. For many families, the division of household chores, responsibilities, parenting and discipline between all adults in the household is essential and seemingly the only way to get through the day.

Recently, my husband had to go out of town for 3 days. Bright and early on a Sunday morning, he left me to my own devices and with three VERY active and VERY opinionated young ladies. I know I am lucky. Many parents have no choice but to do this alone all the time. But, I still thought to myself how dare he? And how would I not completely lose my mind?

I was suddenly thrust into managing the house, the three children, all the minute-to-minute responsibilities that go along with that, without having my partner to trade off with me when I need to take a breath, discipline, or walk away.

So how can you manage all these responsibilities on your own? 

This notion can be exceptionally overwhelming to already very busy parents, especially when we have not even factored in our work responsibilities, outside of the realm of children and house.
Over the course of my adult life, and more so since I’ve had children, I have become the queen of multi-tasking.

With great advice from others and my own life experience, I have learned how not to become too overwhelmed:

1. Only do the household chores that need to be done. Avoid over-planning or over-scheduling to avoid spending all your time shuttling your children from one place to the next.
2. Cook very easy meals where clean up is minimal. Mac N Cheese is permitted. Slice up some veggies.
3. Stay organized. If the kitchen is messy while making dinner, why not use that opportunity to make lunches for the next day?
4. Have the children make their own lunches. Guide them in choosing their own snacks. Kids love being given responsibility and making their own lunch choices increases the likelihood that these snacks will be eaten.
5. The expectations that we have of our children increases when one partner is not available. They should be told ahead of time that they will be expected to rev up how much they help. For instance, older children can sort and fold the laundry, clear the table, assist washing dishes, watch the younger children, etc. If the youngest ones are happy and occupied, and the oldest ones feel ‘in charge’, it’s win-win all around.
6. All required work – homework, music practice, room cleaning, bed making – must be completed before the children are allowed to turn on the TV, play with their DS or listen to their iPods.

Advice of the day? Don’t sweat the small stuff. If it does not get done, the earth won’t stop turning. After all, there is always tomorrow. And we as parents all know that there will be a whole new ‘to do list’.

And kudos to all those moms and dads who are full-time single parents.