SARI SHAICOVITCH COUNSELING & SUPPORT
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www.sarishaicovitch.com

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

4/12/2012

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So moms of toddlers…..this one is for you. For moms of older kids, I am sure you can think back to a time where this was a regular occurrence….

Here it goes. You have only an hour between your child’s waking up from a nap before you have to do carpool for your older children. You decide to bite the bullet and attempt to walk into Loblaws to grab a few items. Risky, I know.

So, as you are walking up and down the aisles, your 3 year-old is trying to bring down every cookie package in his path. Whether you like it or not, he has already decided that he is going to have those wafers. I am sure this scenario is familiar to most of you.

So, you hold your ground. You insist that the snack to be consumed now is either the cheese stick or the yogurt tube that you have stashed in your purse. And your kid has an absolute meltdown. What do you do??

Legs flailing, voice screeching at the highest pitch ever heard at any Loblaws. Incessant crying. People are staring. The old ladies sitting on the bench waiting for their rides are snickering. Not out of sympathy, but rather in that judgmental kind of way, that you must be the worst mother in the entire universe to have such an out-of-hand child.

So here is the dilemma. You have come to accept that your groceries are not getting done.  But do you leave, scoot out of there in order to save whatever face you have left?

Or do you allow your toddler to hash it out? Finish the tantrum. There is no rationalizing with him during such time of stress. What to do….what to do?????

I know my first instinct would be to abandon ship. Leave the cart, take the kid and get back to the car as fast as possible. But I don’t. I am all for empowering our kids, but where do we draw the line? Don’t allow your 3 year-old to dictate your schedule and manipulate your situation. The days of demand eating ended as soon as that kid started gumming down solids and throwing back cheerios. So as far as I am concerned, we just need to suck it up. Sometimes hard to do.

We all know that eventually the kid will exhaust himself and the tantrum will stop. But don’t give in. Don’t leave out of fear of embarrassment for yourself or your child.
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Even though the old ladies are whispering, there are also loads of other women of childbearing age standing there. All of whom have also been in your shoes, and none of whom are judging. They are sympathizing. And if they are smiling, it is merely because they are all thanking their lucky stars that they left their kids at home that day and that their turn was spared.
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    About Sari

    Welcome to my Blog page!
    As a woman, mother, daughter, partner, and citizen of the world, I always wanted to have an outlet for my professional learnings. And as a mother of three, I also wanted to share my experience and my struggles.  

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